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mirror by obakesama mirror by obakesama
hey there, fellas 8) I'm here to give an update on what's going on with me and stuff... as you might tell, not very good news so take care with the trigger warnings. I just want to explain why I haven't been posting commissions and stuff, I'm not looking for empathy tbh, so don't waste your energy with me, seriously

TW: suicide, self harm

sooo the last weeks have been... shitty. nothing BAD happened, I just have felt.. extremely bad. I haven't had energy to go through the day and I always forced myself to get out of bed because in reality I didn't really want to. fortunately I could get out of home and go to school (mostly because I hate missing classes). but I still slept in most classes cause I was emotionally exhausted. I started getting so overwhelmed with sadness (wtf that sounds edgy but I have no idea how to say this in another way?) that I actually started crying out of fucking nowhere in the middle of a class and had to leave for a while. anywayyy things started to get pretty heavy inside my head and suicidal thoughts got worse than ever. wednesday I told my parents about self harm and their reaction wasn't the best. that night I fell into a deep fucking hole and I swear I could've killed myself if my parents weren't home. gladly (?) they were (and worried) so I just went to sleep. I remember I had insomnia but I eventually fell asleep. I had to go see my psychologist out of schedule and etc. in anycase, what matters is now: I'm fine, today has been great. we had an event at school and I ate a lot of junk food. for some reason I got more exhausted than usual and slept the whole afternoon. I woke up and saw myself in the mirror and I looked very... exhausted. hence the drawing. anywayyyyyyyy I can't assure I'm 100% fine. I still have some things to settle out inside my head. I'm trying to erase the thought of "death is the only way out of this" from my head etc etc. I'm working on all owed art, I swear. to be honest I have no idea how much time has passed? sometimes it feels like 3 weeks but when I go look it's been just 3 days. my notion of time is extremely fucked up so I will apologize frequently. sorry. in any case... I'll get better (I think?)

so yeah I'm not disabling comments so go ahead if you wanna say something. I don't actually have the energy to answer everyone so I hope a ♥ will suffice. I appreciate everyone who worries about me o.o I'm not really worth that but ok lol thanks
again, not looking for empathy, I just wanted to.. let things out, I guess? I'm going to go back to commissions now <3
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:iconfrostlllly:
FROSTLlLLY Featured By Owner May 13, 2017   Digital Artist
so sorry this has been going on for you !! i hope you feel/get better soon, i know you can do it <3
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:iconobakesama:
obakesama Featured By Owner May 13, 2017
tysm ♥♥♥
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:iconfrostlllly:
FROSTLlLLY Featured By Owner May 13, 2017   Digital Artist
no problem 
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:icondogpilot:
dogpilot Featured By Owner Edited May 12, 2017
im so sorry you've been going through this??? 
i haven't been in the right headspace either-

if you want to talk, i know you commented your discord on my status earlier ,,
(but i deleted it before i could add you ;___; )  you can add me if you want??
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:iconobakesama:
obakesama Featured By Owner May 12, 2017
oh!! tysm ♥!!! I'll send a request ;o;
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:iconknifepuppie:
knifepuppie Featured By Owner May 12, 2017
im so glad ur ok dude,, m sorry uve been going thru stuff!!!!!! ily & hope thngs get 10383882 times better!!!!!! ^______^
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:iconobakesama:
obakesama Featured By Owner May 12, 2017
omg thats so sweet!!!!!! tysm ;;;; ♥♥♥
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:iconknifepuppie:
knifepuppie Featured By Owner May 12, 2017
ofc!! ❤
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:iconpetermatthew:
PeterMatthew Featured By Owner May 12, 2017
I like junkfood
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:iconobakesama:
obakesama Featured By Owner May 12, 2017
*SHOVES A QUARTEIRAO DE QUEIJO DOWN YOUR THROAT* CHOKE
jk
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:iconcemn100:
Cemn100 Featured By Owner May 12, 2017
I'm very glad that you are better my sweet and you deserve all the people worried with you :3
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:iconobakesama:
obakesama Featured By Owner May 12, 2017
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